


Inferno

by meladromatic



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Caleb has some major trauma, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Nott gets hurt, and Jester is there to slap, but thank goodness Caduceus is there to help
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-24 19:48:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16646588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meladromatic/pseuds/meladromatic
Summary: He tries to call out, tries to stop it.Too late.The spell surges forward, its course set.Yellow eyes.Roaring fire.Ashes.“NOTT!”





	Inferno

**Author's Note:**

> this is supposed to take place somewhere around episode 30 maybe? Definitely an aside from canon though. I just love the idea of Caleb accidentally getting Nott caught in one of his fire spells, so tragic! Took the idea and just kind of ran with it. Enjoy!

                                                                       

 

 

     In the heat of the battle, Caleb stands tall, hands weaving spells that hit their marks with a flawless, practiced precision. 

     He swells with pride hearing the whoops and shouts of his friends as the troll yowls, clawing at its burned eyes.

     It felt good to be bold, to stand by the people that mattered instead of cower in the shadows. He no longer feared the pain of a battle blow, for he was confident his companions would never let him get too hurt. They were a team.

     But the beast isn’t down yet- that’s apparent as it takes a swing, clobbering Beau who just barely defends the blow. 

     Out of the corner of his eye he can see Jester swinging her spiritual weapon at an attacking kobold with glee. The thing shrieks as it is sent flying into the base of a tree. It struggles to right itself, but a well-placed crossbow bolt downs it for good.

     Caleb turns just in time to see the assailant dart behind a tree. _Clever girl._

     The dark eldritch glow of a witch bolt slams into another kobold, knocking it off its feet and into an early grave. Fjord swings the falchion with practiced ease as if he wields not a weapon but a part of himself. 

     Caduceus seemed to be holding his own well enough, shield raised to fend off blows from kobold spears. 

     Two bolts sink into the side of Mr. Clay’s attacker, leaving him free to send a healing spell over to Beau. It doesn’t seem as effective as either of them would have liked, but it keeps her on her feet and sometimes that’s all anyone can ask for.

     A cry comes from Jester as a spear strikes her side. Fjord is sent to the ground with another powerful swing from the troll. Neither the burns on the thing’s face nor the bolts sticking out of its skull seem to be doing any damage.

     As Caleb remembers the gestures and speaks the words clearly, he thinks now is the time for action. Puny spells will not end this quickly. He must be the one to end this- for the good of the group.

     Beauregard sees the spell forming on his fingertips and trots back, out of the way. Caduceus is able to drag Fjord out of range as well. Jester is still working the spear from her side. The way is clear. Perfect timing.

     The fireball grows in his hands, bigger and bigger.

     A flash of green. A shortsword.

 _She must have ran out of bolts_ , he thinks.

     She charges.

     He tries to call out, tries to stop it.

     Too late.

     The spell surges forward, its course set.

     Yellow eyes.

     Roaring fire.

     Ashes.

_“NOTT!”_

     The troll is gone. A smoldering hole is carved through the trees.

     Caleb’s eyes are suddenly unfocused. Everything is muffled, like he’s hearing through water.

     Screams. Someone’s yelling. 

     He stares somewhere overhead where the smoke is rising into a clear blue sky. He can’t bring himself to look. 

     He isn’t sure what’s worse. Seeing her still on the ground, or seeing nothing left at all. At least with Molly there had been something to bury.

     There are shouts.

     Everything is numb and Caleb finally falls to his knees, still fixated on the scorched trees. He cannot bring himself to look at the ground, he cannot bear it.

     Someone calls his name. 

 _It’s happened again._ He thinks bitterly, _You fool, you knew this would happen again._

     There are hands, pulling him, pulling at his coat, shaking him. 

     His little friend, his dearest friend. His most loyal companion. Murdered. _He’s murdered her._

     Once again, there is nothing but ashes left in his wake.

     There are hands on his face, pulling him, forcing him to look at something. He can’t. He stares at the clouds that pass overhead.

 

* * *

   

     “Nott, _holy shit!_ ” Beau exclaims, hands coming up to rest on her head in shock as the goblin rights herself with some effort. 

     “I’m okay!” She calls in that familiarly scratchy voice, groaning as pain shoots through her scorched shoulder. She grits her teeth and mumbles to herself, “ _I’ll be okay._ ”

     The sentiment would be truer if she could get back to her pack on the cart to grab a swig of whiskey, but as she looks to the rest of her group she startles.

     “Oh, Caleb!” 

     All of them turn to the wizard in question, who has fallen to his knees, eyes unfocused and distant. 

     “Oh… _crap!_ ” Beau mutters.

     Nott has already found her way over to him, hands waving frantically.

     “Caleb!” She calls out to him. “I’m _okay!_ I’m okay! You didn’t hurt anyone!”

     “ _Well,_ ” Jester slinks over, “ _technically_ he did hurt that big ugly troll. But yeah, Caleb! Nott is _okay!_ Look!”

     Once Fjord is back on his feet Caduceus’ keen eyes glance over the goblin’s shoulder. He can see where her brackish blood is already seeping into her tattered clothing. She’s a bit worse for wear, but alive. He prepares a healing spell.

     “Caleb?” Nott holds the wizard’s face in her small hands, trying to get him to focus on her. He just stares past, up at the clouds, just beyond the new, smoking hole in the trees. 

     Beau claps a hand on his shoulder, “Caleb, c’mon man. You need to take a walk? Let’s take a walk, let’s go.” She tugs at his coat, but he doesn’t budge. He doesn’t seem to have heard her at all.

     “Caleb.” She tugs harder, “ _Caleb_ , c’mon. Get up.”

     Nott steps away with a frustrated huff. “He isn’t there.”

      Jester, who has wandered over, cocks her head, “What do you mean? He’s right _here._ ”

     Beau releases Caleb’s coat to make some vague gestures, “Y’know sometimes when- this-this just _happens_ sometimes, okay? Usually he snaps out of it pretty quickly.”

     Jester pokes the wizard’s shoulder, “ _Cay_ -leb!” She sings, “Time to _wake up_ now, the troll and all the little lizard people are dead!”

     “And we should be on our way pretty soon.” Fjord interjects from where he is balanced against a tree, “Don’t know if more might be on the way.”

     “Right.” Beau shakes Caleb’s shoulders, “Come on, snap out of it. We need to go.”

     He still does not move.

     “ _Fuck._ Nott?”

     “Hm?” She looks up at the monk from where she has backed away to, gnawing on her claws in distress.

     “I thought my thing would work like last time, but he’s _real_ fucked up. Got any ideas?”

     Nott shakes her head irritably, “No! I don’t know what to do when he gets like this!”

     “Well, what would you do when it was just the two of you?”

     “I would _wait!_ Hours, _days_ \- whatever it took! I-”

     Caduceus places a heavy hand on the goblin’s shoulder to steady her, releasing the healing spell. She slumps a bit in relief. 

     “I don’t believe we have that kind of time, Nott.” He offers, “Unless, uh…someone is willing to carry him?"

     Jester stares at Caleb like he’s a puzzle she has to solve under a time limit. _Sure_ she could carry him, but that wasn’t ideal.

     “I guess I can carry him.” Beau offers.

     Caduceus still seems concerned about her well-being after some of the hits she took- “Beau, I don’t know if that’s-“

     “ _Wait!_ Wait, you guys, I have an idea!” Jester steps in front of Caleb, “Molly did this in the gnoll mine back in Alfield!” She reels back and before anyone can stop her the back of her hand cracks across Caleb’s face with a sound like thunder.

     Both Beau and Nott shout in alarm as the wizard topples over into the grass.

     “Jester, what the _fuck_?!” Beau says, kneeling next to the poor man.

     Nott pushes past Jester with a snarl, “ _Don’t you hit him!_ ” She falls next to him, pushing the hair from his face as Beau tries to sit him up again.

     As Nott frets over the blooming bruise on his cheek, Caleb’s eyes finally seem to hit her. He shakes his head, breaking from his trance.

     “…Nott?”

     “Yes.”

     He stares apprehensively, “…Are you a ghost?”

     She chuckles, “No? I don’t think I am. No.”

     He shakes his head, “ _No_ \- I-…I _burned you_ …to _ashes._ ”

     Beau snorts, “ _No_ , you didn’t. You burned the troll to ashes. You didn’t even touch her.”

     He reaches out to the goblin- grabs her arm to steady himself- to make sure she is real and not just some cruelty of his own mind. And she is. She is strong and solid and holding onto her grounds him back in the moment. She is okay. She is alive.

     Nott peers at him with those curious, concerned eyes- wide as tea saucers- long ears flat back against her head. She is worried.

     But he can’t seem to get past the thought that she is _here_. She is real. She is okay.

     His face crumples with something caught between pain and relief and he wraps his arms around her, leaning into her shoulder and it feels like he can finally breath again.

     “I’m okay, Caleb… _honest._ ” She comforts awkwardly, tangling her claws into his hair.

     He nods shakily. “ _Good_. Good. I-I was afraid you-“

     Beau shakes her head, waving her hands as if to wipe the thought away, “Nah, man, there’s no way.”

     “ _Absolutely!_ ” Jester agrees, “Nott can dodge almost _anything_ , right Nott?”

     “Uh…I-I guess so?”

     They stay like that for a while, the Mighty Nein gathered together in the smoldering clearing of this patch of woods off the side of the Glory Run Road where not long ago they had buried a dear friend and now almost cremated another.

     Caduceus observed them almost from a distance. An emotional distance. For some reason in this somber moment he couldn’t help but wonder what kind of tea would grow from a goblin body. Some would call it morbid, but such is life.

     Jester and Fjord hung back, understandably, both finding ways to subtly lean against a nearby tree or rock. _Understandably_ \- of course- still nursing their wounds. He wished he could do more for them.

     Instead, he watches.

     Caduceus may not know much about the world in general, but he is familiar with mourning. And there is mourning here, of a sort, despite the lack of a body. Something else has expired- some invisible line crossed to invoke such grief among these people.

     He doesn’t know what that is- perhaps Jester and Fjord don’t either, but it may as well be all too clear to Beau and Nott who are glued to the wizard’s side, both offering their reassurances in hushed tones. They know something. Something that perhaps the rest of them have yet to see.

     Beau’s hand is locked on Caleb’s shoulder like a vice, eyes staring hard at the ground. Something like anger is there. Anger at this? Anger at someone? Hell, it could be anger dragged all the way from Trostenwald and Caduceus would probably never know the difference. It clings to her in a familiar way, like an old garment worn with a sense of duty in place of pride long-gone.

     Caleb is hard to read- he usually is, but now it’s because his face is still hidden in Nott’s shoulder. Her wiry arms wrap around him- raw affection without practice- claws adopting a delicacy unparalleled by even seasoned mothers.

     Caduceus sees where something has been stripped from the wizard- it’s always been clear, but now even more so from the tension in his shoulders as he holds onto Nott as if she is the only thing keeping him on the ground. She must know. Something has been taken from her boy- something important left barren- so she has made it her job to grow into that empty space, to be strong for him and fill that role.

     When Caleb pulls away there are tears in his eyes. Beau pretends not to notice. Instead, she and Nott pull him to stand unsteadily, his gaze still lingering on the scorched grass and smoldering branches.

     Jester smiles patiently, meandering over to help Fjord towards the cart.

     They all slowly converged on the cart, helping each other up one by one.

     “Fuck this place.” Beau declares as she helps Jester into the back of the cart, “Tomorrow we’re finding a fuckin’ town or something.”

     “Harsh language, but I agree with the sentiment.” Caduceus deftly scoops Nott up off the ground and places her in the cart. She immediately scampers over to press herself into Caleb’s side.

     “Yeah, _Beau_ , watch your _fucking_ language!” Jester teases. Caduceus just shakes his head.

     “Y’all ready to get goin’?” Fjord asks from the front of the cart, left arm held awkwardly at his side- still not completely healed- but there was nothing either cleric could do about it for the moment.

     “Yes!” Jester says.

     Caduceus can see Caleb nod, eyes glued to the floor of the cart.

     “I can take over driving in a while.” Beau offers, flopping down to begin fixing some of her wrappings.

     “Yeah!” Jester joins her, “And I can heal your arm, but I’m going to need like a thirty minute nap first so I will do that _later._ ”

     “I think I’ll join you.” Caduceus slumps against the side wall, pulling his hat down over his eyes.

     With a tug of the reigns the cart jostles as the horses begin their slow journey back to the road. It will be a long day, but The Nein have had long days before.

     After a few healthy gulps from her flask Nott is feeling less shaky and more- _something_ and almost dying is bothering her less. She glances over as they pass the scorched space where a troll and some trees once stood. She shivers. It’s almost a feeling like walking over your own grave.

     Nott sees the ashes on the ground and can’t help but think-  _That could have been me_.

     She downs another swig of cheap whiskey to banish the thought, instead leaning in against her wizard. She is confident in the knowledge that her boy would _never_ harm her. Not if he could help it.

     She sees Beau, curled on the floor of the cart, pretending to sleep, keeping one eye on Caleb. Nott appreciates that. It’s hard- or it _used_ to be hard- looking after him on her own. She was truly glad to have The Mighty Nein in her life.

     But they came second, didn’t they.

     “Are you alright? Caleb?” She has to be sure.

     “Hm?” He doesn’t really look at her, “Oh, yes. Yes. I am fine.”

      “…You’re sure?”

     He opens his mouth as if to say something, but quickly decides against it and nods.

     “Yes.”

     Nott knows better. Caleb is much too proud to ever admit anything is wrong, but it never hurt to ask. Maybe one day he could answer truthfully. Until then Nott would just keep asking. Though, for now, she decides to leave this one be.

     For now she is content on getting good and drunk because _Gods damned_ she has earned it.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to see some of my art/critical role posts you can find me on tumblr @meladromatic


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